Hello everyone!
I write this blog today with a very heavy heart because I do not have happy news to share and I know this will be hard for many to read.
Mark and I met with my radiation oncologist on Friday afternoon for about 2 hours to discuss the results of my PET scan. The blasted cancer has spread to my lungs and there are 3 nodules that are about 7-8 mm in size. The other nodules that were present in my CT scan were not picked up on the PET because they were too small. The PET also revealed a large mass behind my bladder and cancer cells in my abdominal lining. The cancer spread to my bloodstream which is how it metastasized in my lungs. I still have what is considered a rare form of cervical cancer that has now metastasized in my lungs. It does not mean I have "lung cancer" but the same cells that grew the squatter in my cervix (adenoquamous cancer cells) escaped into the bloodstream undetected by the surgery or previous testing and are now growing in my lungs, abdominal lining and behind my bladder.
The mass behind my bladder could be contributing to my urinary incontinence and problems. Also, the PET revealed that my right kidney is partially obstructed and has what is called hydronephrosis. It is not considered serious at this time but I am having an ultrasound this week to monitor it and am being referred to a urologist. The worst that could happen with my kidney is that I may need an minimally invasive procedure to put a stint in it so that it is able to drain effectively.
We are doing our best to remain positive and have an appointment with my surgeon tomorrow to discuss treatment options and will also have a second opinion from another gynecological oncologist. We are told my cancer is not curable but may be treatable with chemotherapy.
Sadly, we were told that the "average time" that patients live after this diagnosis is 10-12 months (wow, that was difficult to put in writing). My case is rare and that number is an average. We all know individuals who were given less time to live and were able to pull through for years. We are really hoping for this type of response and that additional chemotherapy will be successful in putting the cancer into remission.
What does a person do when they are given this type of news? Well, we cried a lot, hugged a lot, spent the weekend with friends and are treating every moment as precious.
Mark and I love you all so much and thank you for your thoughts, prayers, distractions and most of all love and support. We wouldn't be able to get through this without such amazing family and friends.
We will send another update tomorrow following our next appointment.
P.S. Check out this gal on www.youtube.com (type in Kris Carr). She is very inspirational and she wrote the book Crazy Sexy Cancer and has a documentary as well.
Love, Hugs and Good Health!
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19 comments:
Kins and Mark...we are going to beat this...there just isn't any other option. I watched the you tube video and thought it was so inspiring...Kindra you are just as strong and brave as she is. Like Kriss Carr said "the goal is remission" and we're not going to stop until we get there. I love you both!
Kins and Mark-
Words cannot express how we feel right now. Marisa is so right...we ARE going to beat this...and we are all here for you for whatever you need! Stay strong and know that you are always in our thoughts and hearts.
LOVE YOU!
Thinking about you non-stop. You've never been "average" in anything else and you're not going to start here!!!! We're all behind you, fighting every step of the way. Thanks for being so brave and articulate and sharing your journey with all of us. We love you!!!!
Kindra & Mark,
What a hard thing for you to hear....however if anyone can beat this you can. I'm here for you always. Love you
Every third thought is remission ... right after we think of you and Mark. You are probably whipping up a "green drink" at this moment. We know you can beat this think.
Love both of you very much.
Mom and Dad
Kindra & Mark -
My heart is with you both......as has been said, you have never been average and it isn't going to start now. Remission, remission, remission. That is our FIGHT song.
I look forward to seeing you soon and sharing lots of hugs and love,
Janis
Dear Kindra,
Bonnie let me read your blog today, and we were deeply saddened by the news, at first.
But then we reminded ourselves who we were hearing this about.
Kindra, as long as I have known you, you have exemplified one of the most spirited, upbeat, confident people I have ever met.
Because of this dynamic you have, this cancer will not be able to do to you what the average, or normal result has been in the past.
Your energy and positive attitude alone, will attack this cancer where it lives, and win. I know that in my heart, so keep doing exactly what you are doing, because there is no way you are the norm. We are here for you should you need anything. We will come to see you with the kids, when you're up to it. We are behind you all the way, and look forward to seeing you and Mark.
We love you both.
Bonnie & Jordy
Mark & Kindra,
We love you both tremendously. We're always here for you, even if it's that one thing that Mark wants :)
C, J, & O
I love you both. I hope you continue to have the strength to see the light even on the darkest of days. It's no secret you have an army of people supporting you but what I hope you've realized is that we've all become a little stronger and a little better because of it. Thank you for sharing this journey with us.
Now go on and be crazy sexy and beat this cancer into remission!
Kins and Mark,
We all are continuously amazed at your positive spirits! Kindra you touch so many people in so many ways that you do not even realize! It is your turn to be touched by those around you and we are all praying eveyday for the miracle you will receive!
Love you!
Hey Kins! You're going to beat this bastard into remission and that is that! Keep your chin up and know that you're strong. Our thoughts, prayers, and positive energy are coming your way!
Courtney
Oh Kindra, I don't even know what to say. I feel like there are no right words. It makes me so sad to hear this news. But then I think about how hard it was to hear the first time, and then I realize how far you;ve come and how much you've endured. You inspire me to make every day count and enjoy the things I often take for granted. I can't think of a better lesson to learn from this. I admire your positive energy and truly value your friendship. We are sending hugs and thoughts of remission your way. We think of you all the time and we love you very much. Love, Carrie, Peter, Mikayla and "Bear" :) (don't show that to Peter)
Kindra and Mark -- Josh and I have been thinking about you since we heard the news last week. We know you will give everything you have in you to fight this cancer and we hope for remission. Kindra, your attitude is so positive and we know that will play a role in helping you fight. Mark, you are an awesome caretaker and we know your presence and help are going to make the difference as well. Our thoughts are with you and we hope you get some encouraging news at these next appointments.
Kindra,
I agree with what your friend Hilary said. You have been WAY above average in this fight, and will stay strong with all these loving people behind you.
I keep having this funny memory from the week I first met you...I had to drop mark off at his apartment(back when he had all those girl roommates) Anyway "complicated" (by averil) was on the radio. Mark was just mentioning how you were going to meet him after Matildas that evening. All of the sudden (yes the music was loud in the car) we looked up and you were infront of the car dancing and singing "Why does it always have to be so complicated?" You were so excited, funny, and enjoying yourself! Keep fighting and making more of these great memories. You light up all of our worlds Kindra.
Not only are these friends and family praying and loving you, but our co-workers, neighbors, students, and extended families. Please let me know if there is anything at all that you need. WE love you so much!!!
Molly:)
I'm sad... I watched Kris Carr and I pictured you; Like her you have you have a glowing spirit and incredible will. You give me inspiration... love Ryan
Kins- These song lyrics are how I feel:
"If I could be your angel
Your angel, Your angel
Protect you from the pain
I'll keep you safe from danger
You'll never hurt again
I'll be your a.n.g.e.l
I'm gonna be your a.n.g.e.l
I'll be your angel"
That is the chorus from Natasha Bedingfield's "A.N.G.E.L." and I can't help but think of you every time that I hear it.
Your angel is watching over you!
Love you-
Darrin and I think about you everyday - we are sending positive energy your way and know that you can beat this! We are here for you both, whatever you need! Talking with you the other day reminded me what everyone else on this blog has said - your spirit and strength are beyond "average".
Looking forward to carving pumpkins this week!
We love you both!
Kindra-
I just wanted to let you know that you, mark, and your doctors are in my prayers. I am so sad to hear this news but I am full of hope for you!
Paula
I'm thinking of you often, kindra. it sounds like you've been fighting hard which is not surprising in the least. When I say fighting hard i mean that it seems that you've been working hard toward normalcy and remission this whole time, living life despite being tested over and over again. You're strong and courageous. Nothing but positive thoughts full of healing for you!
christine
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